Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Rocky Mountain High: What Party Mom Did On Summer Vacation.

Well, my summer vacation had at least one shocking event, involving three things that begin with the letter M (hint: me, mom, and marijuana). Most vacations are scheduled to perfection with kids, activities, and meals. Not mine, of course. Ours is like one big hangover and we wake up every morning and do it all again!!! This is how my wine and weed summer trip began…

It started with my son running wild for our entire 2 and ½ hour flight. He was literally jumping off my lap and running into the first class cabin and pulling down the separation curtain. He was screaming bloody murder from excitement. I must have run after him a million times and every time I would grab him and say the word "no”, causing him to burst out laughing. And then FINALLY the flight attendant came around I got my wine!! But how the hell was I suppose to drink it out of the plastic cup with my hyper son all over me?? I didn’t and I drank straight from the airplane bottle. A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do!!

The next week was spent running after my children, making blueberry pancakes and eggs, getting ice cream of all flavors, drinking LOTS of great wine, playing outside in perfect weather, and not sweating a bit. We heard great music and had great beer at a Bluegrass Festival. Oh and did I mention that my son slept in the middle of my mother and I? Yep, for 7 nights I snuggled with my son because he is too young to sleep alone in a bed and too big for his pack and play. So every night at 7:00 my mother and I would lay in bed with him until he would fall asleep, which took about 2 hours. Instead of drinking a bottle of wine on our balcony looking over the mountains we enjoyed the bottle in bed staring at my son. And when the coast was clear we would jet out the room to start on our next bottle. Finally I could rest! And then when we would fall asleep I would be woken up almost every 2 hours by my son calling out, “ Mama.” Oh and then there was the night we actually thought he was not in the bed anymore. In the middle of the night my mom rolled over and said, “Where is he?” We turned on the light and searched under the covers, under the bed, we were freaked!!! Then all of a sudden I heard a little snoring from behind a pillow. He had covered himself up with pillows and crawled into a ball around the headboard. It was the cutest thing ever!

Then there was my little princess who usually turns into the exorcist at night and doesn’t sleep. Baby girl must have gotten into the Ambien because she slept like CRAZY. She took 2, 2 hour naps everyday and then would sleep 12-13 hours every night. I was shocked as shit, but soooo happy!!!

One night my mom and I went to dinner and enjoyed several cocktails. On our way back in the taxi my non drug using mother and I bummed a little pot from the nastiest hippie I had ever seen. We ran straight home and smoked it!!! It was hilarious. And then my non drug using mother started cleaning. If you knew my mom she is not the type to clean. I didn’t think the woman even knew how to use a vacuum!!! The place became spotless and I couldn’t believe it. Maybe I should get rid of my cleaning lady and trade my mom pot for cleaning??

Mom left after the first week and then cute lazy husband came to join. And of course when he comes I have everything in order. The food is stocked. The place is clean and his scotch is right there waiting! It was all set up so he can sit on his throne and stay cute and lazy.

Hubby shared the last week with me and we had a great time. We ate, drank, took the kids on great walks, and even got to meet up with my friend, her 3 kids, and her cute lazy husband. In fact these guys are so much alike. They are precious. Always smiling, drinking, and having a good time. These dads literally ran away to get beers as soon as they saw each other. That left my friend and I taking care of 5 kids in the middle of a crowded BBQ festival. It was crazy. And it was my first time sweating in the cool mountain air. I don’t think my friend and I could say a word to each other because all we were doing was chasing and feeding our kids. Both of our husbands may be lazy, but not selfish. On their hour long trip to the beer line they managed to bring us back a couple cold ones too!

So readers when you’re on vacation with your family and especially your kids remember that everything is not gonna be exactly in order. They won’t always go to sleep easily and they will for sure get hyper as hell from the excitement. SO with that being said you should go with it and get a little loose too! Enjoy wine, liquor, pot, or whatever floats your boat. They can break the rules and so can you!!!

Until Next Time,
Party Mom

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